With the vision of fashion ideal in my mind and years of insecurity, I am fighting the desire to photoshop these photos even as I write this but who would I be kidding, only myself. The rest of the world see this, the reality. This is an exercise in accepting and loving the way I look, being happy with my body. To be of value, it needs to be a good honest look as others see me.
A couple of tips I have discovered in doing this;
- take photos as well as looking in the mirror, I am noticing things in these photos I had not appreciated in the mirror. It may also be a good idea to discuss with a trusted friend.
- tuck your top in your leggings so you can really see where your waist is. I did this first with the top pulled down and realise now that I couldn’t really see my shape properly.
This is not easy but it’s strangely liberating. You must start with the positives. I can’t bring myself to say “I have a good x” because I’m far too far down the road of body insecurity to be so boldly positive. So I’ve come up with a phrase I will use rather like a mantra ..
“I am happy about my”
It’s important to use the word “my” because it really feels like I am taking ownership of my body parts in a way that I haven’t before. I think it’s a good start in accepting my shape the way it is. And I have deliberately repeated “my” alongside each statement, owning each body part.
I am happy about ..
- my shoulders and hips, they are balanced
- my waist, it is defined from the front
- my hips and bust, they curve in the right places
- my bust, is shapely but not too big and in a good bra they are in the right place
- my ankles, they are slimmer than my calves
- my thighs, they are fairly toned
- my bum, it needs a bit of firming but size ok
- my wrists and lower arms, they are slender-ish
My side profile is where it all goes wrong for me, my tummy was never toned before I had children so it’s my most problematic area when it comes to clothes.I am deliberately going to list 1 less negative than positive. My mantra for these areas is
“I accept it is part of my lovely body but I want to draw attention away from my ..”
I accept it is part of my lovely body but I want to draw attention away from ..
- my tummy, it is almost the size of my bust!
- my short legs, they are the same size as my upper body (this is a baffling discovery, how had I not noticed that?!)
- my sloping shoulders
- my broad, rounded back
- my 40 something upper arms
- my short-ish neck
- my small but not dainty feet
It’s all getting very yoga so let’s bring back the fashion.
I have a confession to make, I have referred back to 2002 Trinny & Susannah in preparing this post and looking at styles. I must share a quote from the book;
“We regard ‘fashion’ as a pretty frivolous affair, and the higher it gets, the more absurd it becomes. Yet when it comes to clothes it turns into something deadly serious.”
So, to the important bit for my next wardrobe post ….. clothes and styles that suit me and the ones I should avoid. I’m also planning a post on my ultimate capsule summer wardrobe. This area of body shape and styles that suit has ended up more complex than I had imagined which is why I decided to split it into a few shorter posts (see, I’m getting the hang of it!). In the meantime, I’ve launched my #1134 Sewing Club (posting soon) and I’m itching to do some sewing. So I want to devote a whole week (at least!) to sewing and upcycling. When and in what order I will post, I am learning not to promise myself but that’s the broad plan for the coming few weeks.